The music of words taken for facts
The steps that wouldn’t hold us both splintering in air
The self reduced in an urn like ashes
To have loved you better than you loved yourself — whoever you were, to have loved you —
And still to love but simply as one of those faces on the street
That erudition how to confront it
The critics wrote answers but the questions were ours
A breast, a shoulder chilled at waking
The cup of yoghurt eaten at noon and no explanations
The books we borrowed trying to read each other’s minds
Paperbacks piling on both sides of the fireplace and piled beside the bed
What difference would it make that those books came out of unintelligible pain as the daylight out of the hours
when that light turned atop the insurance tower all night like the moon
Plugged-in to her body he came the whole way
but it makes no difference
If not this then what would fuse a connection
(All that burning intelligence about love) what can it matter
Falling in love on words and ending in silence with its double-meanings
Always falling and ending because this world gives no room to be what we dreamt of being
Are we, as he said of the generation that forgets the lightening-flash, the air-raid
and each other
Liquid mist burning off along the highway
Slap of water Light on shack boards
Hauling of garbage early in the wet street Always the same, wherever waking the old positions assumed by the mind
and the new day forms like a china cup
hard, cream-colored, unbreakable even in our travels
This morning: read Simone Weil on the loss of grace drank a glass of water
remembered the dream that woke me:
someone, some more than one battering into my room intent to kill me
I crying your name its two syllables ringing through sleep
knowing it vain knowing you slept unhearing
crying your name like a spell like signs executed
by the superstitious
who are the faithful of this world